Total Eclipse

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It’s hard for me to wrap my head around that fact that it is already mid-November, although it is my favorite month for personal reasons. The year seems to be progressing with fleeting speed and I have felt the days flow by like water spilling through my fingers. One of the things I have wondered at has been my lack of writing these past few months. Oh, I have written. I have three short stories out to publications and my first novel is busy looking for an agent. But the muse that drove me to put pen to paper every day seems to have taken a vacation.

Writers often deliberate and worry about dreaded writer’s block. I’m not sure that is what I am experiencing or not. At one point, I just considered that I needed a period of time to absorb rather than produce. To fill up the imagination with stories and life instead of putting it out to the world. I’ve immersed myself in reading as never before. Mysteries, thrillers, fantasies, literary works. The need to consume the stories of others has taken precedent over my own. The common wisdom is that this is actually a healthy way to write but there are moments I worry I have written my last word. That maybe, just maybe, the well I was dipping in has gone dry. Creative life is full of doubts.

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Last week there was a lunar eclipse of the full moon in the sign of Taurus. A lunar eclipse is when the sun, moon and the earth align so that the moon passes into earth’s shadow. This moon was named Blood Moon because of the intense red color it turned as everything aligned. Alignment is the the operative word here. A natural phenomenon can occur when stars align. It’s what I am striving for although there are forces out of my control. Still I can’t help but feel that a total eclipse is the way to go.

Despite the slip-slid feeling of the passing days, there were moments of October and November that were significant. I will never again complain about the rain in the Pacific Northwest. Very late season fires led to heavy smoke filled air for many days at a time. At one point Seattle had the worst air quality in the world. One evening on our deck, a strong dry wind blew by with pieces of trees and natural debris so intense I was picking pine needles out of my mouth. I felt a pulse of real fear that the slightest flame would burn it down all around me in no time. I could smell the fire from hundreds of miles away. When the rains came, it was a relief so intense, I couldn’t even express it. The smell of petrichor dominated the air for several days before the rain actually soaked in enough and then the earth actually sighed.

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What does writing, the full moon eclipse and fire smoke have to do with each other? Well as I alluded to earlier – alignment. It seems when forces are aligned, life is good. That perfect job, the right dress, a hassle free trip, a great health test result. It’s something tangible, a feeling in the gut, a contentment of spirit. Conversely when one feels out of alignment, the opposite is true. Some days it’s hard to ride the wave.

This month marks another turn around the sun for me. Every birthday is a victory over time and age. The best gift I can ask for myself is alignment. Inspiration to write, energy to enjoy my days, harmony in my relationships. And maybe a request that my muse return home from vacation. Hopefully with a great tan, the sea salt in her hair and a world of words to share with me. Namaste!

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4 Comments Add yours

  1. LA says:

    Happy birthday whenever it is/was

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi Tina,
    Once again you have written my life. . . my muse has left the building but for slightly different reasons! The last 6 months have been tough. Now that we are in Tehachapi, I feel such a sense of relief and I’m sure my muse will find me again. Yours will too! Judging from this writing, it hasn’t really left you. Thank you for your words my friend, they always connect with my soul!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, Alison! I am so happy you are getting settled and loving your new home xo

      Like

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